Archive for the ‘English’ Category

Yesterday the 28th of June, marked a new spark .. that could change the way things will go in the upcoming period in Egypt.
The families of Martyrs were supposed to be honored at Ballon Theater, Strange things happened, the objective confirmed story is yet to be revealed  .. however what is objective and confirmed is that the night ended with attacks by the Central Security Force,  Rubber Bullets and Tear Gas canisters ( Just like the old days) on the families of the martyrs and Egyptian citizens including many activists.

For anyone who is saying that they were merely thugs, well think again! every acclaimed activist was on the streets eye witnessing the riots on a first hand account. with them was the families of the martyrs and pure Egyptian souls afraid on their country.

Today I can say it .. It’s Alive ! Gloriously it is !
The revolution was endangered, but the Egyptians never cease to amaze me! I thought it was the end I thought people would let go, but the people gladly failed me and showed that their finest is not yet seen.

However, we should mature and think very wisely before taking any steps, so we don’t end up making the same mistakes or as Sandmonkey said we don’t end up running in circles.

The following are some Tweets from topnotch bloggers and tweeps.
Congrats.

Wael Ghonim
GhonimWael Ghonim

انفجار الوضع النهاردة نتاج طبيعي للتأخر في المحاكمات وبالونات الاختبار وجس النبض وعدم اتخاذ قرارات ثورية لإصلاح البلد #Jan25 #Egypt

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Wael Khalil
waelWael Khalil

بعد احداث الامس واليوم- المطلب الان تطهير الداخلية ومحاكمة القتلة- والقتلة يحبسوا احتياطيا ويعزلوا من مواقعهم فورا- لا تصالح ولا مسامحة

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Alaa Abd El Fattah
alaaAlaa Abd El Fattah

everytime police asked for truce or claimed they’ll retreat we stopped attacking, everytime they broke the promise and attacked #Jun28

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أوشة أخت مليجي
oshaokhtmeligiأوشة أخت مليجي

احنا في الميدان…: بالمختصر كده عشان الحق انزل تانيناس جات لاهالي الشهدا قالت لهم فيه تكريم في مسرح البالون، في… http://bit.ly/m650CW

oshaokhtmeligiأوشة أخت مليجي

احنا بعد البهدلة دي مالناش مطلب غير حل الداخلية القائمة واعادة بناء داخلية جديدة. #Tahrir

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Mahmoud Salem
SandmonkeyMahmoud Salem

Now is the time for the truth and reconciliation committe to be formed. Otherwise we r running in circles that will always include clashes
SandmonkeyMahmoud Salem

The game is this: #moi provokes protesters, protesters respond violently, police shout at protesters & scream “thugs” to destroy their image

!

So I wonder, as a human, is all humans like me?
do we share the same good and bad?
do they think about life and the world like I do?

I doubt it, I doubt that all these people feel this hollow inside them  ..
maybe what is troubling me, is feeling it! maybe .. to everyone it exists .. but not everyone can feel it.

right now, 5/26/2011 .. 5:08 am .. i feel lost.
I feel disconnected with everything, with my outer world with everything it contains but that’s not what bothers me
what really bothers me feeling disconnected with my inner world … my inner world that could – connecting with it – always establish a certain connection with the outside, a relation … establish a meaning!

A meaning …

right now i feel meaningless !
If Descartes said, I think therefore I exist, then ,,, right now .. I don’t exist
maybe only a portion that exists in an unidentified space and time .. and that allows me to write these words

right now .. I can’t make sense of the world .. of my life .. of myself
again I refer to feeling disconnected .. disoriented !
like my stream of consciousness .. that stream that  irrigate every aspects of my life .. has stopped.

……………….

what is the ultimate seek of mankind

Power ? that could be in  knowledge? money? dominance?
Freedom?
whatever ….

it’s greed that we nurture on …
we seek perfection … absolute power .. all in everything
we never stop seeking for more .. we never stop
we greed!
I greed!

greed to become wholeness …become  allness .. become simply .. perfect
Omni ….

Poor man .. why do you strive hard to get the one thing you know for sure you won’t have?
why do you strive to become the one thing you know for sure you can’t be?

man…
what guilt inherent in you guides you to your suffering?
what guilt innate in you leads you to be in constant state of denial?

Man…
your time here is so tiny that you don’t see it in your rush

Man…

Imperfect you are .. full of flaws you are .. benighted you are .. coward you are ..

temporary you are …

In this moment of what may seem to be a clairvoyant sight .. i denounce myself ! i denounce any abilities or capabilities I pretended I had once .. I denounce other beings … I denounce everything that binds me to that place I am now .. I denounce time and space .. I denounce my clairvoyant sight
finally .. I denounce my existence

Man ... what guilt inherent in you guides you to your suffering?

Although I always knew it, I acknowledge it now, integrity may not be integrous on a wider perspective and might eradicate itself.

And I should stop denying what I know for hopes and prospects that I already rejected but I used to undermine my judgment and accept it, now it’s not subject to doubt as it was proven empirically.
And now I know I was right.

There must be prices and sacrifices, and if my existence is what’s on the edge; then it’s better to compromise than extinct!
And believe me, for how rogue it might seem, it will be the most noble act and again, objectivity is never objective.

And now I don’t share your views or beliefs except one; the twist of fates which is still a very long shot and which a lot of you don’t believe in and insist on being in denial.
You make yourself perceive that you deserve what you have, try again .. Because it’s WRONG.

And for now, I want to hear no one, speak to no one or see no one! I can’t wish you luck because its man made, and you don’t have the capacity and the capabilities to make it.

(Suffering In Rage)

Suffering In Rage

I suffer and always have suffered.
Why? The reasons don’t seem to cease existing.
Every single day there is a new reason to suffer.
Will it come to an end someday? I don’t think so.

I Believe some people exist to endure suffering in their whole lifetime.
Not because they want it of course, and it’s naive to think that people really craves suffering.
Bullshit, yes we have a masochist inside, and that’s everyone speaking ( scientific fuckin’ truth )

But speaking of the normal/average man, ( I don’t who the fuck is he or who the fuck normalized/averagized him )
We are not masochists and we don’t want to suffer.
Some people cannot avoid it, cannot delude themselves to escape it.
Suffering exists as long as their brains do.

Now I am not going to speak of the ups and downs and how the existence of “downs” make what we perceive as “ups”.
I am speaking of a relatively constant state of suffering that some may have to live with.
These are not pessimists by desire, but maybe they are the Defacto pessimists.

Well let’s say that a suffering is gap, a gap between the current state of affairs and a desired state of affairs!
and it’s fuckin’ obvious that the current state of affairs is fucked up and the desired is not.

now let me tell you about those, who have what I call ..
Hyper Consciousness.
Unfortunately, they are piercing analyzers, they see through things, they deconstruct that current state of affairs to the bones.
They sharply perceive everything at large, like a mind of a paranoid except they are not!
Their sharpness sharpen their suffering with it.

They may be perfectionists, they may not be .. but .. they never manipulate that current state of affairs to make it look like the desired ones.

Suffering now is a gap .. that obviously can never be filled.
The gap is constantly changing place, from one point to another with constant distance between extremes, at best.
and Those extremes may change, to opposite directions, growing the gap and falling into deeper suffering.

so ..
let me say it instead of youd ..
Most probably you didn’t benefit shit from that shit you’re reading
and here I must say …

It’s Good To Be Dumb.

We were bound to a reality and compelled to accept it.
We stopped dreaming, stopped aspiring for the better tomorrow, because it wasn’t possible.
We had a life of a walking dead. everything was gray ! shady .. vague .. irritating .. suffocating, but that dark thick smothering cloud is gone now.

I don’t feel any sympathy or empathy towards you. I don’t forgive you, you caused a lot of destruction and grief.
I wish, with all the hate for you in my heart, that you live in pain you and your dynasty, and that you suffer underground, when you meet the God that made you.

Now, we should celebrate, open our arms to a life with possibilities !
Dream! and do nothing but dreaming
and embrace

The Daybreak …

Daybreak .. At last.

It’s really tiresome .. being in doubt and in confusion.

It’s very hard to explain my existential status or my existential feeling but I feel that something doesn’t fit .. something is not where it is supposed to be..

And it seems that I can’t let go my senses of nihilism, and its destructive questions like, so what? ( why bother and all the series ), and what’s after?

Questions that really make sense!

The fact that I can’t answer these question is overbearing! I feel, aimless? no that’s not the word, I might feel a bit like Sisyphus but in a reciprocal way.

I might feel a bit like Sisyphus but in a reciprocal way.

What consulates me a bit, that I am ignorant and I acknowledge my ignorance.

Doing that it leaves me wondering if my question got any answer at all, and my ignorance always leaves the possibility that there might be one, which comes contradicting to my intuition ..

Still I won’t stop looking .. because I am ignorant!

One last question .. to people who find life all purple and easy ! why?
Why do you find it like that? what makes you think it is all purple and easy?!
Enlighten my spotless mind please.

In the sores of our mores
The shores ..
The truth that keeps us bound, and keep us binding
The tears that keeps us finding ..
The trembling, the fear .. of our mazes .. of our gazes
Of our sorrows blossoms our seals
Seals
Seals on our walls .. and halls
and we seek …

redemption
redemption
redemption
redemption
redemption
redemption
redemption
redemption
redemption
redemption
redemption
redemption  ……………