Posts Tagged ‘visceral’

Of Nihilism

Posted: June 22, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

Written a long time ago, reading it now I can only think of nonsense.
But I still like it, nostalgic maybe, I remember the feeling and sense it.


Haunted by a daunting fear.
An entity of despair shrugged and pointed at me,I deserve the least for my deeds are the worst
and I am doomed in a darkened realm.

In the darkness I lost a nameless dear.
a foe .. a law .. for my flaws.
and here are burdens for my burdens,
I deserve the least … and a fool I was, for it’s not the least .. but agony that smiles.
agony that smiles .. and flourish inside.

In the realm, melancholy is tender, nihilism is vivid and gentle .. not.
and the once morbid thoughts are now dreams of well-being that will never prevail.

and here are burdens for my burdens of my burdens.

I bite the flesh in the search for existence.
I sip my blood to taste life.
And I wonder .. was it blood ?? was it flesh ??

Ironic .. nihilism is there .. nihilism is material,
a state of delirium in a darkened realm .. how just!

The endless chains carves my shame in my skin.
the endless chains stranding me along and along
and I am nonexistent
I am in the literal .. nowhere!


It’s really tiresome .. being in doubt and in confusion.

It’s very hard to explain my existential status or my existential feeling but I feel that something doesn’t fit .. something is not where it is supposed to be..

And it seems that I can’t let go my senses of nihilism, and its destructive questions like, so what? ( why bother and all the series ), and what’s after?

Questions that really make sense!

The fact that I can’t answer these question is overbearing! I feel, aimless? no that’s not the word, I might feel a bit like Sisyphus but in a reciprocal way.

I might feel a bit like Sisyphus but in a reciprocal way.

What consulates me a bit, that I am ignorant and I acknowledge my ignorance.

Doing that it leaves me wondering if my question got any answer at all, and my ignorance always leaves the possibility that there might be one, which comes contradicting to my intuition ..

Still I won’t stop looking .. because I am ignorant!

One last question .. to people who find life all purple and easy ! why?
Why do you find it like that? what makes you think it is all purple and easy?!
Enlighten my spotless mind please.

When the cinematic experience reaches beyond the conscious and tickles the intuitive nature in us.

Dream-like, is Valhalla Rising

Like it’s own protagonist the film is mute ( very few Dialog lines exist ), combined with the foggy surroundings and the creepy lightings and the mixture of dominant sole colors warm or cold, Valhalla Rising is a nightmarish experience.

Nicolas Winding Refn ( Director of Bronson ), presents a short-time ( 129 mins ) highly explosive epic, exploring human nature in dark malevolent humans, redemption and salvation of One-Eye the savage warrior being held as a fighting slave, driven by hate as his proprietor explains, still beneath this mute in tongue and expression character lies a tormented self seeking repentance, when he meets a crusade  willing to get to Jerusalem to recapture the holy lands he thinks it’s the right thing to do to clean himself out of sins, but he soon understand how lost are this crusade and how brutal are there acts in the name of god,  till he finds his own way to his Valhalla.

Still, the film isn’t for mass market, quiet the opposite, to truly like Valhalla rising you have to connect with it on a basis of personal preference.

An experience not to miss, brief in its time, brief in its talking, mesmerizing in it’s visuals and in its hellish atmosphere.

Valhalla Rising.